Hi everyone!
I hope everyone had a great day yesterday. P got me the cutest Lilly Pulitzer dress (huge surprise coming from a guy that switches from a flight suit to workout clothes!) and we had a mix of grocery store spring rolls, seaweed salad, sliced fruit, pita and hummus, and sparkling water on the couch for dinner.
(that’s the one. that’s just not me.)
We got to bed early because he got a call last night saying he had to go in for duty today. Not the happiest call to get, but that’s okay! I’m just hanging out at his apartment until he gets off.
On the way home from the airport yesterday, P and I got to talking a little about my blog and how I write.
I should say that P isn’t the biggest fan of my blogging. He absolutely loves that I love it, that I have connected with so many similar girls, and that I get great opportunities, but he worries that I share too much and subject myself to unnecessary criticism.
It makes sense. He’s in a military career that makes every effort to not share private details (why you don’t see a whole lot of him) but also knows that what I put on my blog isn’t the whole me. He said that to me one of the first weekends we hung out – that what comes across on my blog isn’t always how I really am. I don’t do that on purpose, I just can’t completely convey my whole personality in a few posts a week.
I know we start to really feel like we “know” bloggers, but I’ve always found that when I meet bloggers in person there is so much to them. They are so much more real and down-to-earth than they seem online. I mostly blog about the fitness and food aspects of my life, and so it can make me seem super obsessed with just those things when really I have lots of other things going on that I don’t share as much.
Okay, that was a really long winded introduction to the lesson he taught me.
P says that when I write certain things, particularly more serious things, it doesn’t always come across that way in the tone of my writing.
I like to keep things light-hearted and casual, and occasionally at least try to add a little humor, and I guess I don’t always make a full “switch” in my wording when I’m discussing things that deserve more respect. I also think that playing things off and joking around may be my way to ease tension around things I’m embarrassed or ashamed of.
So, for example, when I wrote that I wanted to stop checking social media in the car, it may have seemed like I was blowing that off like it didn’t matter. In reality, I know that behavior is extremely dangerous and irresponsible, and so I am making an effort to change. Regardless of whether you think it’s an appropriate thing to do during Lent, I hope you understand that I don’t think it is something to make light of.
Maybe this issue hasn’t ever occurred to you, but if you’ve ever thought I was being rude or immature in my discussion of certain topics I hope that this may clear things up.
I am not a trained writer (I haven’t taken English since high school!) but I will make an effort to be more clear and convey my true thoughts better.
Boyfriends are good for something, huh?
- What’s one thing that blogging or reading blogs has taught you?
- Any fun Valentine’s Day gifts/plans/single-girl events you want to share?
I used to host a singles-party every year in high school and it was SO much fun!
Your boyfriend is very insightful! It’s great that he can give you advice to help better convey yourself to readers since he has a unique perspective on the ‘real’ versus ‘online’ you!
I think you made it clear that you take Lent pretty seriously, and anything you would take on for Lent is something you find serious.
I actually didn’t think you seemed casual about using your phone in the car–you said yourself it is inexcusable. I think Lent just makes you think about these bad habits more so it is a great time to end that. Using your phone in the car wasn’t always illegal (heck I’m pretty sure it’s still legal in some places.. Florida?..insane) so I can see how easily that became a habit for you, especially when stopped at a stop light.
I think this hits the nail on the head. Far too often I have to remind myself those same things but it’s true blogging just does not capture who a person is.
Something that reading blogs has taught me is not to judge too soon.
I just think it’s insane. I’ve read your blog for a long time now and genuinely enjoy reading your posts…until recently I didn’t realize that negative comments were even an issue! After you hinted at it in a post, I happened to stumble on some rather rude comments and it just doesn’t make sense to me. You are doing something you love and sharing personal things about yourself in the process…that alone is hard and people should support you rather than tear you down for it. If someone has an issue, why continue reading? It’s not that hard. It just doesn’t seem right that you have to sit there and continuously tip toe around everything you say and do so that you don’t offend anyone. With as many readers as you have, there’s no way to please everyone. Keep doing what you’re doing, write for YOU and no one else, and people can get with it or move on
Cory isn’t the hugest fan of my blogging either! I guess it’s hard to read someone’s writing that you talk to/see all the time. I think he thinks my writing can be annoying at times. If it’s any consolation, I’ve never thought you sound rude or immature. Have fun with P this weekend!
There are a lot of bullies out there. While I think thoughtful criticism is great, merciless criticism is not, and some of the negative comments aimed at you seem to toe the line. Stay true to yourself and readers will see that you are being genuine. The haters are impossible to please, anyway.
Clare,
This is insightful and thoughtful blogging. As someone who was turned off by what I saw as a flippant attitude, I appreciate this post. A lot.
Have fun with P!
Your boyfriend sounds like a smart guy!! I read a couple of other blogs, but I notice that some people are really out to try and find fault with the things you write! It is sad to me that people are so intent on being negative. Good for you for continuing to blog, to lead a healthy life, and for being honest with your posts.
First of all, I love your new dress. He has very nice taste. Second of all, a lot of my friends have expressed concern over my blogging as well, worrying that I get “carried away” by my “online life” when I feel like all I’m doing is talking about my life. I guess from an outside perspective, it can be unnerving that we’re sharing too much. I think as long as you’re trying to remain as genuine as possible, then that’s what is important and the rest will fall into place.
Tone is definitely very difficult to convey in writing, especially in blog writing. Without the benefit of inflection or facial expression, all readers have to go on are your words, so that’s what they’re going to judge you on. I think that’s why, if you’re an inexperienced writer, you get subjected to rude comments sometimes. And that doesn’t make you a bad person, it just means you need to work on expressing yourself more clearly – as I think you’ve already realized, thanks to that very observant boyfriend of yours.
Hope you both had a wonderful Valentine’s Day!
I could not agree more that tone is incredibly difficult to convey in writing, and tackling more serious topics can be daunting as a result. However, I don’t agree that readers requesting that you refrain from a behavior that has been proven to kill people is negative or mean. It’s always good to work to better ourselves and this is usually challenging, but I don’t get how you are “making an effort to change” in regards to using social media in the car. You don’t need to make an effort, just stop doing it, the end. My uncle was killed by a drunk driver so this is a hot button issue for me. Now that it’s off my chest, glad you were able to enjoy Valentines day with your bf!
Love this post! I don’t think my boyfriend really has an opinion on my blogging either way, but I know that he likes that it makes me happy at least. I think that you do a really good job writing in a way that portrays who you really are. Maybe you have trouble with tone when it comes to serious posts because you really don’t write a whole lot of serious posts (not that that’s a bad thing). You could try writing a rough draft of your post the next time you’re going to write about something serious and have somebody else (like P) read it and make sure your tone isn’t off. I find that I have trouble gauging my own tone when I’m trying to edit it myself.
I know that you’ve have some issues with rude commenters, but I don’t think it’s warranted at all. I don’t understand why people say mean things about bloggers. Even if you somehow managed to offend anybody, I think it’s important for readers and commenters to remain polite and try to have respectful conversation. Even after blogging for 2.5 years I still can’t wrap my head around the issue of mean comments, it just doesn’t make sense to me. I hope that you continue to blog and be yourself even though you have had your share of harsh criticism. I think that the number of supportive readers you have far outweighs the mean ones.
Thank you! I don’t like disagreeing comments are bad at all, and maybe it’s just a tone issue in comments too that I get upset by.
Having p proofread is a great idea!
Don’t *think*
I find I do the same thing. It’s just living on the positive side