I Think…
…that there is a severe lack of movement in our country. If you are blessed with the ability to exercise your body, you should do so as often as possible so long as it doesn’t become an unhealthy obsession.
…that we’re all over thinking things. We know what is healthy, and by obsessing over the exact balance of meals or the quantity of a specific nutrient, we start to counteract the benefits of the food with the stress of choosing it.
…that proper exercise can’t be qualified by hours or number of workouts. Why is working out for one to two hours a day overdoing it, when in school it was a success to make it to the weekend tournaments where we played multiple games in a row? (See: severe lack of movement and over thinking things.)
…that people have forgotten the golden rule.
…that part of being a mature adult is recognizing that other adults have the right and responsibility to make their own decisions. And that we must trust that their decisions are the right ones for them, regardless if they would be the right ones for us.
…that if they aren’t the right decisions, it will be a learning opportunity. We all mess up sometimes. There is no need to call others out on their misjudgments.
…that people are SO much cooler in real life.
…that no one needs to eat dessert in order to prove they are balanced. If you are craving it, have it. But if you’re not, or if you have other goals, stick to the healthier options.
…that there are tons of amazing cities in the world, but there is nothing quite like being home.
I agree with all of the above
So thoughtful! Happy Saturday!!
I completely agree and know from experience! I always over think things, especially when it comes to food. I thought my blog needed a “niche” when it came to dieting and I lost all focus on what I started it for. I think I’m back on track. It was great meeting you last night! I hope to be involved in many more activities to come!
I’ve run into that too!! Just gotta do what works for you. So glad we met!
Getting deep on this Saturday morning!
There is definitely no place like home! Happy weekend!
AMEN! So when are we gonna hang out?
UHHHH ALL THE TIME when I hopefully live super close to you next year!
I love this. So true! When I first read it I said to myself – Amen! – but Colleen above had already beat me to it
Happy Weekend! I might need to copy this idea for a post soon, I agree with so many of these! This one is by far my fav – “…that if they aren’t the right decisions, it will be a learning opportunity. We all mess up sometimes. There is no need to call others out on their misjudgments”….100%!
Go for it! I’d love to read yours!
I’m assuming (perhaps wrongly) that this is a response to the criticism from the Five Things post. I think people are considering your two forms of exercise as two different workouts. For me, when I do spinning I can barely think of doing another workout after that. Similarly, I couldn’t do strength work after a hard run. I get where there head is at with thinking your exercise is a lot, but I just want to say that I don’t think you owe anyone an explanation. There is famous blogger who runs long distances and takes workout classes on the same day regularly but no one throws these comments at her because she races all the time. If you were training for something people wouldn’t criticize you. If you were doing manual labor all day for your job, people wouldn’t criticize you. Do what works for you. You answer to yourself, so just make sure your health is taken care of.
You read my mind – you made the exact points that I often make in my head. Thanks!!
Amen, sista! Love how real you are!
I love YOU!
It is true. Although overexercising is more than just about the number of hours. If you aren’t fueling yourself properly, it means you’re doing too much. It can be hard when you’re trying to eat really healthy all the time to get enough calories into your body once you’re older. Kids are much more intuitive about eating. I think that’s what people mean when they criticize about overdoing it on the exercise. At least that’s what they mean in my own personal experiences.
Yes – I know it’s a combination of the amount of exercise and amount of food. And I’m sure it’s impossible once you have little ones to take care of! But that’s where we have to trust the adults to make their own decisions. Everyone is trying to be their best and their own version of healthy, and that won’t look the same.
But “trusting adults to make their own decisions” is not exactly applicable to people with EDs, because, as you probably know due to your interest in them academically and personally, those with eating disorders often have cognitive distortions about what is good for them. People with eating disorders often think everything is fine and “they know what works for them” but they are actually harming themselves. Have you seen all the comments on your FitDay article? You have become an ED-behavior promoting blog, and I think you should straightforwardly address that. You need help. And frankly, the Golden Rule applies to what everyone is saying — if I were sick and didn’t realize it (or even if I did realize it), I would want people to be honest with me so I could realize how badly I needed help. People are rooting for you Clare, you’re just sick, and it’s not your fault!
Totally accurate that sometimes people with eating disorders are not in a good mental state to make their own decisions.
Which I am not. And I say that with 100% confidence.
It hurts to have a stranger tell me I’m sick without knowing me.
I guess I just don’t understand how ALL of these people could be wrong… like, why would someone with an ED be triggered by your posts? Why would everyone say that you’re stuck in your disorder if you don’t publish stuff (thoughts, workouts, foods, habits) that makes them think so? Sure, we don’t know you in real life, but you put your life online and I guess it’s important for you to know that what you put online screeeeams eating disorder. I guess that means you could do a few things – 1) be honest about the struggle you’re going through (people would like you SO much more if they felt you were being honest, and it would make you much more credible to one day treat EDs), 2) stop blogging, or 3) blog EVERYTHING you eat to prove you’re not underfueling (that may make your blog less of a triggerfest).
With that said, I do feel for you because it would be really hard to deal with all the criticism. I could never take it which is why I don’t have a blog. But just know that the criticism isn’t rooted in nothing, so I hope you can step down off the self-defense-rock and be open/honest/vulnerable OR prove to the world that they’re wrong by eating enough.
In the end no one’s opinion matters except those near and dear to you who see you day in and day out. I’m quite sure that if there was something disordered about your eating or your exercise that your parents might bring it up differently now than they might have in the past….having already gone through this issue with you. But on the other hand, its so hard when you put yourself out to the internet…people don’t KNOW you and they do judge, its human nature. And while some people are doing it to be mean, I think others are genuinely concerned having followed you for so long. But it just brings me back to my original point, those you see you every day in PERSON are going to hold far more weight than those reading behind a screen. I know for myself I teach a barre class….I don’t take it when I teach, but people become very confused when I teach 3 classes take a class and then go for a run. But teaching isn’t a workout for me….and I still need to be able to get a run in every once and a while…..it’s just personal perference.
Great points!! Thanks for the support
It’s true that readers should probably take it easier on you. I think some readers are worried about you, others are frustrated, and others are angry. At the end of the day, I don’t think people would be less critical if you were fueling your body properly. Many people work out for hours each day but they eat 2000-3000+ calories per day. That’s the difference. It’s easy to fall back into old habits when you’re going through a major life change so don’t fall into that trap. And I disagree, if you have a healthy relationship with food, you do eat dessert instead of making concoctions that mimic dessert.
Totally agree you have to fuel your workouts, which I do. I have never had a “I post everything I eat” blog, so it’s frustrating when people judge without actually knowing everything.
Thanks for the thoughtful comment!
Yep, we all need to keep moving and stick to moderation. We need to do what we want to do and it will flow into a healthy lifestyle – let’s not be pressured! And there is no place like home.
Truer words have never been spoken! <3 you! xoxo
One thing people may forget is that you don’t post every second of your day on your blog. You’re posting certain meals and most of your workouts, but you may not post about the times you spend on the couch surfing the web. Everything in moderation, and I believe you know what your limits are. I appreciate your honesty about your past struggles and how you’ve learned from them to become strong and heathy!
Thank you!!
Couldn’t agree more!! Thanks for this….been frustrated with a stupid plateau and this is what I needed!
Good luck!!
i think…
…you are awesome for being honest and posting this. I agree with all of the above! Happy Saturday!
Thanks!! You too:)
You GO girl! I find you really likeable. I can’t help it. I’ll admit that I found your blog via GOMI maybe about 9 months or so ago and I can’t stop reading it. And, no I’m not coming over here to “hate read” — I read your blog because I like it.
And I’m not even a fan of “Healthy Living Blogs” because frankly, I am not interested in reading boring posts about Crossfit and bowls o’ oatmeal. I like your blog because you still post “personal” stuff — it isn’t all about boring healthy living stuff.
Anyway, keep on, keepin’ on Clare!
Clare,
I really enjoy your blog…I am a daily reader who thinks you have great content and an enjoyable writing voice. However, I must say that I sometimes get confused by your apparent confusion over readers’ concerns/accusations of an eating disorder. While I do not think that you have issues (although who can really know that), at times, the content you post seriously comes across as though your health goals are far different from what you say. I think that people’s concerns over ED-behaviors do not come out of nowhere. So, maybe the message is to consider what your are posting–you are a brand and as such you must constantly reevaluate your image (whether you like it or not). Just like any other company, changes must be made in order to market your message to readers. As someone with an ED-past, some of the messages in your blog SEEM like red flags. The keyword is SEEM, so if people are perceiving that, maybe you should reevaluate what you are putting out there.
Love
I am not here to judge but there is one thing that stood out to me for all of these, it is the INTENT of all these accusations that really matters. Sure, professional athletes, those training, etc workout for 2 + hours a day. The big question is why do people who aren’t in those shoes feel the need to. Again, back to what is the intent behind is. Also, not eating dessert.. is it because you fear it or is just because you have eaten enough for that day. Does that make sense? No matter what, I know I can be judged because of my ED background, I always will. But what it comes down to is knowing your intentions behind all your actions. Whatever that may be. Gabriela has spoken on here a few times and really nailed it – feeling the need to all of a sudden clean up a diet, workout more, avoid sugar – has to be questioned.
I hope this makes sense and I didn’t offend you, I am just saying it from someone who has recovered and has been questioned as well.
Clare, I definitely have to agree with most of the comments on the blog in the sense that I feel like every other post you are defending yourself saying that you don’t have an ED anymore, which I feel like would be truly exhausting. I agree that many of your posts do hint towards it and its definitely time for you to evaluate everything you post in order to avoid criticism- not worth dealing with it! I’m a few years younger than you, and have had a very similar experience to yours. I previously blogged and as much as I enjoyed it I am soooo much happier without one. I love reading your blog and I hope you can figure things out so you don’t have to deal with the criticism anymore!
Such true words! People like to get fired up about what others are doing, but you’re an adult, do what works for you! So true about the lack of movement, compared to years and years ago, our culture just likes lazy alternatives.
THANK YOU for posting this!! Exactly what I needed to hear… all so true. I support you 100%!
I still don’t buy into this idea of “reader awareness”. It is extremely difficult to stop reading something that is triggering you. As I’m sure you know from your experiences with an ED and from working with those with an ED, it can become obsessive to watch what other people are eating and how they are exercising. To ask that those who are triggered by your content just stop reading is completely ignorant.
Please just take a second to think about WHY your blog is triggering to SO many people. Unless there’s one person who keeps commenting under different names, it’s pretty evident that multiple people agree that your blog is triggering. To be honest, I disagree with a lot of the commenters and I don’t think you have an eating disorder. I think your parents would intervene if that were the case. However, your blog comes off as very disordered. I’m not judging YOU, I’m judging your PUBLIC BLOG.
I know this must be frustrating to receive so many negative comments and to know that there’s a forum out there of people just talking smack out you. I commend you for dealing with this. And it’s human nature to react defensively, but maybe try and reflect on WHY your BLOG is causing this reacting and stop thinking of it as people judging YOU. Even if you’re 100% sure you have recovered, look back through your blog and try and figure out why your blog is painting a different picture.
Lots of people agree your blog is triggering and it’s ignorant to just ask them to stop reading.
It’s a shame you have to defend yourself like this, but I do agree wih everything you wrote. I have been reading your blog for about a year and I would say don’t change a thing. You’re honest and your life has gone through a lot of transitions during that time. For someone to tell you that you sound entitled because you’re willing to chase your dreams is ridiculous. Hang in there girl.
Clare,
I hope this gets to you and you take it to heart.
There are 85748905 billion people in this world. We are ALL trying to figure out what this whole “life” thing is about. When I first started reading your blog I thought I had a lot of the same problems as you. Turns out, I think I am more “normal” then I ever thought. (Not that you are not normal in anyway.) However, I was attracted to your blog, ideas, passions, and inspirations. It is like people connect with one another for certain reasons.
I think you know by now what makes your heart full, what excites you, and what makes you happy. You don’t NEED others approval to do those things. You need to just have confidence and support (which I believe you have plenty of.) This blog should and IS serving as a guide for others. Therefore, make it real and CONSISTENT so others can FOLLOW you with confidence. Make yourself stand out with pride and give others REASONS to follow you with confidence (if that makes any sense at all.)
What are your current thoughts on your blog right now? Do you think there are any good reasons as to why people are having doubts with how you go about your blog? Would you ever consider changing anything?
I think you are an amazing person…. no doubt. Perhaps your readers are just a little confused on your reason/purpose/consistency on this blog!
<3 lots of love xoxoxoox Lauren
Thanks love
I’m extremely confident which is why I know any accusations are false and mean spirited. I will consider what I write, but I won’t edit myself because then I am writing a lie. My goal is for people to see that healthy looks different for everyone.
Do you genuinely think all of these accusations are “mean spirited”?? I have read your blog for years now and genuinely enjoyed it up until this summer when I began to find it disingenuous, but have refrained from commenting. Let me clarify, I do not find the content disingenuous, rather your comments to your readers. Now that I see that you consider every single comment expressing concern for your health “mean spirited”, I understand why you are so passive aggressive and, in a word, frustrating in your responses.
In the past few years you have constantly changed your diet, exercise routines, and job, going from near vegan, pescatarian, omnivore, paleo, LiveFit, CrossFit, runner, non-runner (for like 2 weeks), a job you hated in retail to a job you were so excited about and inspired by but quickly came to hate, complaining that you didn’t have enough time to work out and that your co-workers brought too many “bad” foods into the office. I’m sure there are more immense shifts in your outlook and actions than I have listed, but these were most concerning to me. You seem lost and I can totally relate to that, I am a senior in college still recovering from an eating disorder, worried about the future and how to accommodate all of my passions and stay healthy. This is why I refrained from commenting. I felt that you were in a place of transition, and I had no place judging you as we are all trying to find ourselves.
I started to get very worried for you when you started both running and doing CrossFit almost daily back in Dallas, saying you were giving up running, but then picking it up again almost instantly and doing tons of cardio on top of crossfit, while eating what seemed like very little. I was and am genuinely concerned for you. Of course, only you know how you feel, what your body needs, and what you want out of life, but to me, the parts of your life you post on here and on Twitter seem extremely restrictive. You have posted many times about getting back on track after too many handfuls of m&ms, and what I can only assume is junk food binges after a day of 1800 calories in and 2500 out. It’s to the point where after I saw your third post on getting back on the healthy bandwagon, I got nauseous. I recognized that thought-process from my restrict and binge cycles in the past. You deny, deny, deny and are extremely passive aggressive to the people who show concern, saying, more or less, that they don’t know your life. You’re right. We don’t. But, Clare, you write a lifestyle blog that is part of your livelihood. You represent a life on here, put it out for others to judge, and make money off it. If you had no readers, this would not be possible. I hope you’ll consider that and check your attitude when speaking to those that care enough about you to stick their neck out and voice their concern. To me, and many others, your life seems to be based solely on clean eats and exercise. You’re changing fields to get a job in those areas as well. It seems you have once again become obsessed with what goes into your body, and though that is not anorexia, it is still disordered eating. I feel sad for you, and frustrated that you have written off so much concern as “mean.” You are young and seem like a great girl on the inside, I hope you can do some self-reflection and stop being so defensive. Take it as a compliment that so many people are concerned. And, Clare, if it’s controversial enough to merit a defensive blog post, something tells me there’s at least some part of the accusations that isn’t “false,” as you say.
I hope you take the time to read this, as I debated writing for a long time, and it does not come from a mean place whatsoever. Good luck.
This.
I agree with this. I actually don’t think you’re exercise and eating is all that disorder IN REAL LIFE, but on the blog it comes off as such. And this blog is a major part of your livelihood as I am sure you have gotten a lot of clients for your health coaching business from this blog. And that is where I become concerned. A lot of people I know with histories with eating disorders might eat normally and work out normally, but they still TALK in a very restrictive manner….it becomes subconscious, food and exercise is still a major part of their daily life and always will be. So while they might eat fine one day, they talk about food constantly as though to get a response out of people…the type of attention they got when they were IN their disorder. It concerns me when you are coaching people who struggle with good, whether it be binging or restriction, and yet all you talk about yourself is how one handful of m&ms makes you need to get “back on track”. A handful of m&ms is nothing, its a normal thing for most people, its healthy to have a little treat, and it will not derail any health of fitness goals you have. And to state such is very unhealthy for those clients of yours who are probably trying to recover from that exact thinking. That is where I take issue. I believe you eat the m&ms and DON’T work out for 4 hours to undo it….but I see you talk about it on here and on twitter and how horrible it makes you feel….it’s totally fine if you feel that way and if you are struggling with that, but admit it rather than coming off as defensive. People pay you for a service and I’m not sure how healthy that is when you are giving off such an appearance that most of your readers question your intensions. You really need to understand that people aren’t being mean-spirited. A lot of us have been with you since the beginning of you blog and still read because we are rooting for you to succeed. Most of us are not trying to tear you down. I have no doubt that you get some really cruel comments that probably never see the light of day, but for those of us who take the time to write thoughtful responses, its really disheartening for you to dismiss them with a simple “you don’t know me”.
Very thoughtful and nice comment. Thanks. And I understand that some of what I say may come off differently than I intend. But I assure you I have never said I needed to get back on track after a handful of m&ms. That is assumed by he reader. I actually struggle with emotional eating and only say those things after literally almost a whole baking sized bag of m&ms in one sitting! Or 5-10 cookies. More than just a reasonable treat.
That being said, I’ll be more conscious of what I say. Also, I don’t coach much at all, and don’t run this blog in order to get clients. I generally only coach upon request and have had amazing success with my clients.
Again, thank you for clarifying and separating the thoughtful comments from the truly menacing ones.
I appreciate the response and clarification. I think this is the thing a lot of your readers would love to hear from you. Obviously its personal and your choice to share in your own time and manner, but as so many people are expressing concern, probably just as many struggle through the same things! Just remember people are on your side and want to relate to you and share their experiences with you too!
thank you! i have a post written on this topic and I hope it helps a lot of people understand. I also hope my readers recognize that a lot of my “mean” comments come directly from GOMI, and aren’t regular readers, and intentionally try to hurt me – I can track those comments – and that is why I often get upset. I LOVE LOVE my readers and am honestly honored that so many follow me and care, I just don’t appreciate the ones that are mean-spirited. I mean, you should read some of the comments I delete…flat out MEAN.
Anyway, thanks Gabriella!
PS:
I work at a gym and there A LOT of VERY ACTIVE people I talk to that have very DIFFERENT diets.
There are individuals who come in TWICE a day and I ask about their diet and a lot of them don’t eat much. It is all about what feels right for you! EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.. you just gotta be honest with yourself.
It is also important to let others know that what is working for YOU may not work for THEM!
“…that there is a severe lack of movement in our country. If you are blessed with the ability to exercise your body, you should do so as often as possible so long as it doesn’t become an unhealthy obsession.”
This is pretty rich, coming from someone who quit their barely full-time job because it didn’t leave enough time to work out. Many people work over 45 hours a week, many people work multiple jobs or go to school and work full-time. Not all of us have the luxury of quitting our jobs to make time to go to the gym. Even without kids – I used to have to get up at 6am, leave by 6:45 or so, commute an hour, start work at 8am, work (at a desk! sedentary!!) until 4pm, commute an hour back, go to class at 5:30pm til 7:30pm, drive home, make dinner, eat with my fiance and catch up for a bit, maybe do a load of laundry or clean if needed, then park my ass at my desk and do homework until 11 or midnight, shower, fall into bed, get up and do it again. And I LIKE exercising, so I try to make time for a run after class or in the morning, but it’s not EASY and it cuts into the time that I can spend with my fiance or doing other leisure activities that I enjoy. I’m not trying to be mean and I don’t hate you or think you’re a bad person, just – it’s so easy to say that everyone should eat and work out but when you’re older, you might begin to see that those things require TIME and MONEY. You obviously have plenty of both, but that’s a luxury, Clare. A luxury not all your readers have.
You took that in a whole other direction and it was totally unnecessary. You missed the entire point of that paragraph. If you are ABLE to and have the TIME, then you should exercise your body. Obviously, in your situation, you did not have the time or the energy. In my life, I’ve been in a similar situation. However, you are taking Clare’s words and distorting them so that you can bash her. You’re also dead wrong about Clare quitting her job to work out. That’s insane, and if you actually read her blog, you would know that she quit her job so that she can go back to school and pursue her goals. If you don’t like Clare or her blog, stop reading it.
I have nothing against Clare, I think she’s a sweet girl and I enjoy reading about her adventures, I just think she is very disordered and her family and friends (and many commenters) enable her in her delusions and distortions.
I thought I recalled her mentioning that she disliked her position at the footwear company because it left her with little time to run errands and do the things she enjoys like working out, but it’s been a while and I haven’t memorized her content.
I do take issue with her representing herself as something she is not – she is not a “medical researcher,” she is an entry-level research ASSISTANT. She is not “becoming a doctor,” she has yet to even take her pre-reqs; hence the post-bacc programs she’s applying to. It’s a long, long, uncertain road from there to acceptance to medical school, residency, etc. I’m not trying to crush her dreams, in fact I hope she does make it! But it’s inauthentic and disingenuous to assume titles you have yet to earn.
Hey- I don’t want you to think I’m pretending to be something I’m not. If you email me id be glad to talk more extensively and clear it up.
Clare,
I do think you work out quite a bit, but I also don’t see it as a negative. I would also imagine that with a history of ED, your family, with whom you are living, would the FIRST ones to call you out on negative or dangerous behavior. And as far as changing career paths? Good for you. You are lucky to have the means to do that, and a family that supports and encourages your decisions.
Thank you!
I’m shocked by some of these comments. Why do these people continue to read? Why is your healthy eating and working out such a trigger? Some of these commenters have to take a deep look at themselves and why they have such a reaction to your blog. It’s not your problem, Clare. I’ll never work out twice a day but you’re an inspiration and at least motivate me to get off my butt to workout once a day. I also enjoy reading about your family and all your adventures. Thank you!
That’s Miranda!!
Clare, I’m really disappointed to read the way you react to commenters. While I too, agree, that you probably don’t have a full fledged eating disorder again (obviously your parents would step in at that point), I think a lot of your posts and habits are disordered and its interesting to me that you can’t see it. You comment “thank you!!” to all of the lovey dovey comments and then straight up ignore those that voice concern. While some people might be nasty and “hate read” MOST of the people on here are addressing serious concerns. I know I like reading your blog because we are the same age/in the same stage of our lives and I like reading about your life (rather than your workouts.. but thats just me). I wish you would react with grace to these comments rather than quickly saying that everyone is so “mean spirited”. Your blog gets these comments about once a week. Maybe it’s time to step back and figure out why. Best of luck.
x1000. whether you are disordered or not, you come across as so in your portrayal on the blog. people don’t have concerns for no reason – you are coming across as having an unhealthy relationship with food that results in a seemingly overkill amount of exercise. ah well.
Amen.